Monthly Archives: February 2011

night sweats…night chills…

Ok so this one is fairly new to me…at least for this duration of time.

Of course I’ve woken up covered in sweat before from a bad dream or what have you, but this is happening way too frequently for me to be ok with. First I blamed it on my ‘monthly gift’ but it stayed around long after she left. I don’t recall bad dreams causing the sweating so I don’t know what’s happening. It’s definitely NOT hot in our room as the window is almost always open and 2 fans are running constantly. As a matter of fact I usually shed some clothing and blankets during these sweats and then I find myself shivering from chills, parts of the body are then in pain from being ‘so cold.’

It’s been happening off and on for about 3 weeks now, so I guess I better figure out what’s causing it. I thought it too would pass but so far no luck. One more thing to add to the list for the Dr. The list grows and grows until finally you think…’there is no way I can go over all of this with someone in one sitting and not look completely insane’ so I’m sure I’ll weed some out at the last minute and save them for a future visit. But this is not only disturbing my sleep, it makes me feel like there is something happening that shouldn’t be!

Anyone out there experiencing the same or has any ideas, I’d LOVE to hear them!


fibro related or age related?!

Do you often find yourself asking ‘is this from age or fibro?’ I feel like I do this with every little thing. Of course had I never gone to the Dr in the beginning, I’d still be believing that all of this madness is just aging.

My eyes are changing, I now need reading glasses. I”ve always had 20/20 vision! Never had glasses. My whole family wears them, but not me. Until now!

My hearing does funky things..sometimes one ear just ‘stops working’ haha! It gets very muffled and I cannot hear out of it for a few hours to a few days. Or my ears ring alot.

My hips hurt terribly after sitting or walking too much.

My teeth have new issues. I didn’t have a cavity until I was 32 years old! But now…every little thing hurts, I have 5 cavities and a root canal in progress.

I can no longer handle the foods I used to devour every day…due to spice, acidity, yeast, sugar, casein, well you get the picture!

So how do you know if these things are just age appropriate things happening to you or if the fibro beast is rearing it’s ugly head?! Does it really matter I wonder? It’s not as though you are going to be able to stop them either way. If it’s getting older then you just deal with it…you cannot turn back the clock or stop moving forward in time. If it’s fibro..there’s no cure, there’s probably no specific medication that will stop alot of these things from happening to you. Yet somehow I cant’ stop asking myself…is it age or fibro causing these things?

I’m calling it a beef hangover…

We had a bad craving for some beef last night and since I’ve only had it in small quantities for the last year I decided it’d be alright to splurge and have a deliciously succulent prime rib cut.

We really wanted Texas Roadhouse but since they are so far away out here in Cali we settle for the next best thing, Outback.  After an enjoyable dinner and an insanely full belly of prime rib, garlic taters and salad and bread we came home to watch movies.

The headache started about an hour after being home. The stomach gurgling and feeling ill started shortly after that. Oops, I overdid it. But it sure was tasty!

I tossed and turned all night and hurt like I don’t remember hurting in a long time. Everything hurt, all night. This morning I woke up to a full head, pain in areas you don’t wanna have pain in and every inch of my body hurts in one way shape or form. The shooting pains in my arms and legs feel like someone lit firecrackers INSIDE of me and they are all exploding at the same time.

I’ve done nothing else wrong, so I’m blaming the delicious beef and calling it a beef hangover. I knew better. Sometimes you have to give in to your cravings, so long as you’re prepared for the aftermath!

it’s always something, isn’t it?!

So my self diagnoses only work part of the time, of course. I’m not  a Dr, I don’t pretend to be however I do know my body better than anyone else so sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t…..I think we all do it. We cannot run to a Dr every single time something ‘new’ appears or we think something changed, because it’s literally ALWAYS something!

I got a grip on the headaches FINALLY. I’m pretty sure they are cluster headaches which really stinks cuz there’s really nothing I’ve found to get rid of them. They hang on for dear life for days and then they vanish as though they never existed. I did find that cutting out all casein during the week that they are around makes them less intense, so that’s good news. I tried all my fancy headache pills during that week and not one of them worked. I do have this on my list of things to chat with my new Dr about however. Hopefully there’s something out there I haven’t tried! haha yeah right!

I think I got a jump on that cold that was sneaking up on me, I overloaded on vitamins and it never became a full blown cold. Maybe I got lucky, or maybe the vitamins really worked. We never really know though, do we? We can assume for now and we can try the same strategy next time but I’ve found that the same thing rarely works twice when it comes to fibro!

I got attacked by the famous ‘rib pain’ this week, which is always such a joy to discover when you wake up. It’s as though someone took a baseball bat to both sides of my body and hit me over and over again, right on the ribs.  This one I have yet to find a ‘cure’ for. It’s a nasty predicament as it hurts to move, stretch, turn or even lie still. I’ve tried rubbing the pain away, to the point of tears. I’ve tried heat compresses, hot showers, yoga. Nothing seems to work. So I just wait this one out and luckily it only hangs on for a couple of days. It’s moved from the front, underside of my rib cage to the sides, under my arms. Ouch. The wife and I joke about who beat me in my sleep…was it her this time or the dog?!

I still give mad props to my Magnesium and my B-100 complex. I’ve tested this theory many times, usually by accident, by not taking them for a day or two, and again…it could be coincidence but the pain levels seem to be lower when I take them.  I asked the PA to test my vitamin levels when I saw him a few weeks ago and I received the results. They were in the ‘normal’ zone, but more toward the lower end so I’m guessing that without taking them every day I would have fallen into the deficient zone. I’m going to increase my dosages a little now since I know that I’m not overdoing it! I’m hoping that lowers the pain levels even further.

Week 3 of the new job and I haven’t missed a day yet. A miracle I’m calling it! 😉 I am definitely tired everyday around 3pm but I push through it and the other little pains I get to experience. I did have one day this week that I really really really wished I could have called in, but I didn’t. I can do this! No one there knows of what I go through every day. Not a lot of people do. I don’t want their pity or their pretend understanding or their every insightful ideas on how to ‘fix’ me. It’s easier just to shut up and suffer in silence. Thankfully I have you all to vent to!

Today is my day off, so I’m still in bed, playing on the computer and cuddling with the dog, listening to bird sing in the other room. I love these days. I miss them. But it really is nice to feel like part of the world again, most days.


getting sick stinks!

Well, I’ve made it through week 2 of my new job…it’s been ok really. I’ve had some pain, lots of headaches, but all in all it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated.

But now I’m sure I’m getting sick, so we will see what happens with that!

I’m in the midst of self diagnosing my headaches and I don’t need a cold to mess with my theories right now! I think I may have some sort of casein reaction happening in my body.  If anyone knows anything about this, I’d love to hear what you know! I’ve cut off all casein for the last 2 days and I’ve had no headache after having one every single day for at least a week, until tonight I ate a cheeseburger and now yes I have a headache.  (Not to mention the insane stomach ache I got immediately afterwards….I’ll never learn!)  I hate headaches more than anything. They debilitate me in so many ways.

I changed my B-12’s to a B-complex after researching it for my Father’s shakes and this morning it looked like someone broke open a bright yellow highlighter in the toilet! haha! What a sight! I must say it freaked me out for a minute, then I googled it and viola….the B’s will do that to you! There’s no way I’m dehydrated as I drink at least 128 ounces of water a day. warned if you start the B-complex, which I highly suggest, you may have bright yellow urine!

I’m so not looking forward to waking up sick tomorrow! I’m so bummed! The weather is going to be so fabulous that I just want to go sit on the beach for awhile….hopefully I’ll feel good enough to do so. I don’t know how or why I’m getting sick..the weather has been consistent, I haven’t been around anyone ill, I take enough vitamins that I should have the immune system of a robot! Maybe it’s the Santa Ana winds blowing stuff around..I keep hoping it’s just allergies, but the allergy pills don’t seem to be making it better so we shall see what the weekend brings me.

when the fog lifts….

I was in a bad, thick, funky fog last week and I am so very glad it’s over for the time being! That one was hard to pull out of and it was my first week back to work in over a year so it made it even worse!

It sucks that there is absolutely nothing you can do either; if you have a headache, you take some Aleve or something stronger, if it’s body pain you can take the same or usually something MUCH stronger, if you’re cold you put heat on it and if you’re tired you lie down and rest.  Sometimes these things don’t completely alleviate the problem, but they usually help at least a little bit. But with the fog there is absolutely nothing you can do. You have to push your way through the day, through the haze that becomes every single moment.

It’s nearly impossible to concentrate on one single thing, let alone the many, many things that you must do over the course of a day. Especially at work.  It affects your memory, your speech, your eyesight, your everything. It literally feels as though you are living in a thick, dense fog.

The fog will show up very unexpectedly, I’ve found no rhyme or reason to it yet. It can hit you slightly or it can hit you with a vengeance and it leaves the very same way. When you’re in a fog for a week, you begin to forget how it feels to be ‘normal’. When that fog finally lifts you feel like a brand new person! It’s as though everything that’s been ‘sleeping’ inside of you suddenly wakes up! It’s a wonderful feeling! My fog finally broke and though I know it’ll be short lived, I’m glad it’s gone for now. I felt like singing ‘I can see clearly now, the fog is gone’ you know that old song….about the rain. haha! My 5th day at work and FINALLY felt as though some of it was making sense.

The most frustrating thing to me about the fog is that it makes me feel stupid. I HATE feeling stupid! I’m no genius but I consider myself a fairly smart person. I’ve taught myself many things in life and feel like I have a pretty good head on my shoulders most of the time. But that fog will cut your spirits down to nothing. It’s quite possibly the most frustrating thing about Fibromyalgia…to me anyway.

This morning there is a real fog outside, but in my head it’s gone and I’ll take advantage of that and just hope it doesn’t decide to come back anytime soon. I hope you all have a fabulous, fog free day today!

my brain the hard drive!

So I’ve decided that the fibro brain is somewhat like my Computer Hard drive….my very FULL, slow running, ever locking up, computer hard drive.

I’ve noticed that when I get new information, I process it like this; how important is this? If not important, I simply delete it by letting it go in one ear and out the other, fragments may remain but that’s it. If it IS important, then I must put together a new ‘word document’ and find some room to store this new information, therefore I will need to delete older programs or apps that run in my brain. There is no way to know if that newly deleted information will indeed delete completely or if maybe someday when it comes relevant again it will know to surface and show the parts that I left behind. Somehow I’m doubting it. Once it’s deleted, its deleted. Gone forever. Oh well I guess if it’s that important I’ll find a place to restore it later!

I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot purchase a newer, better, larger hard drive, or even get an external hard drive to store new information on. This is it, my little bitty hard drive from 1974 that will work hard until it just can’t spin any longer, then look out…it’ll crash and it’s all over after that. Black screen.