OK after 2 weeks of non stop rain, I’m seriously over it. I just want to see the sun again. I want to feel it’s warm rays washing over me, make me feel warm and cozy. I want to sit on the beach and watch the waves roll in with my son. I need this, it heals me.
I’ve been staying up playing games with my son til about 10:30 then trying to go to sleep. I take my Melatonin, just as I have every night for the past few months, but I wake up every hour in pain. Tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable way to lay. Pain in the hip, pain in the shoulders and ‘cold pain’ yet sweating at the same time. So I’m very sleepy this week.
‘Cold pain’ as I have dubbed it, because I don’t know if there’s a technical term…..is the pain that goes deep, very deep and is caused by cold. Not below zero cold, just cold. In my case today it’s probably 65 or so in my house I’m guessing. So it’s really not cold, but my body says differently. If you’ve ever gotten frost bite, it feels a bit like that. Almost as though someone has taken the ice pick that has been stuck in a big block of ice and is now shoving it down into your arm (or whatever area is having the sensation at the time) and swirling it around, causing just a little more pain. It tingles almost and feels as though you can’t move that part of your body for fear it will crack and break from the cold. ‘Cold pain.’
Maybe it’s just the rain…I hope so. When it’s gone I’ll magically go back to having a few pains here and there, but able to sleep well with my melatonin. Sleep is so very huge for Fibromites and I can definitely feel the pain differences when I don’t get my 9-12 hours! My eyes are heavy and want to go back to sleep. I tried…for an hour I lay here and tried my hardest to go back to sleep. No dice. The mind wanders, thinks of the most ridiculous things it can and then dwells on that thing until it gets bored and moves onto the next odd thing it can think of. Too bad I haven’t tricked it into thinking about sleep yet! Oh well, guess I’m up for the day. With big bags under my eyes and my mouth in constant yawn form.
I have an interview today….I want to stay excited for interviews but after the luck I’ve had for the last year, it’s really hard to be excited at all, especially when I’ve so very sleepy.