I watched Eat, Pray, Love last night. Good movie. Somehow this line stuck out so much in my mind; Let it be.
I was raised by a wonderful woman, but she likes to hold onto things and unfortunately that trait occurs in me as well. Since this ridiculous Fibro got ahold of me and I have realized that I simply can’t do that anymore. It makes me hurt, it makes me stay awake at night, it makes me sad. I’m slowly learning that ‘let it be’ has to be a way of life. You have to deal with the issue at hand, do what you can if need be, then LET IT BE.
Dwelling on things, harboring guilt and hanging on to past feelings that can no longer be changed makes no sense, honestly. Yet alot of us do it. It could be anything from something that happened to you as a child to something that happened today at work. It’s easy to replay things over and over in your head and think ‘if only I’d have done it this way’ but it doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t go back and do it over again so instead, apologize if need be (because I believe this is the beginning to getting rid of anything) and then just let it be.
Maybe my writing here is my way of letting it be…to a certain extent. If I kept all of these wonderings and feelings inside of me every day I would probably go mad or be in a constant flare! I don’t like to complain to my wife, to my Mother, to my Father, to my Sister..or any one else for that matter…but I certainly can’t keep this all inside. After 36 years of always needing to know I did the right thing, yet never feeling that I actually did…it’s time to learn to let it be.
It sounds so simple doesn’t it…..it’s 3 little words. How hard can it be? Let it be.
If it were indeed so simple there would be no more reason for therapy or stress relievers, such as massage or alcohol! haha! I know it’s not simple, but to me it’s going to be an awareness factor, just like everything else with the Fibro beast has been. When I lay in bed at night and think of all of the things that keep me awake I have to remind myself to take one of them at a time; let it wander in, acknowledge it and then release it…let it be.
I suppose this is part of meditating, yet I haven’t mastered that trick of sitting silently and not allowing my mind to wonder if the dishes are going to get done today, or what my son is doing at college today, or if I’m going to find a job soon enough. I hope to someday master this, but today I will start by letting it be. I think it will be my next tattoo…somewhere visible to me at all times to remind me constantly.
If you have ideas on how to conquer this ‘way of life’ I would sure love to hear them! I hope that if you are dealing with something you cannot change today you can also Let it be.