I’ve been in bed for the most part the last couple days…so no postings for me. I probably could’ve posted yesterday as I was feeling better, but I was attempting to catch up on the house work….I’ve got it all wrapped up almost today. I hate 2 days of doing nothing. I honestly think it makes me feel worse to lay around doing nothing but I tried really hard to get up and do my yoga yesterday and that’s about all I got done. Mother nature has brought my ‘gift’ of insane pain, thanks alot!
I want to do some sort of poll to find out if women with fibromyalgia that have had a hysterectomy still go through the intense pain for that week out of every month. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve looked online a few times. I’m honestly contemplating doing it….I’m in bed at least 3 of the 5-7 days every single month. How do I think I’m going to find a job with a track record like that? That’s just my definite given time of being in bed…that’s not counting any other days out of the month that I’m stuck in a fog or having some crazy fibro flare. I’ve read the horror stories of disability and I’m not financially capable of fighting for the next year or two to possibly receive benefits…not to mention that the benefits are barely enough to survive…forget ever doing anything fun again or paying for my son’s college education. I’ve been arguing with myself for the last year about filing for disability. I’m only 36…I just can’t bring myself to do it. I CAN work and I WANT to work…there’s just days that I know I won’t be able to. A new job isn’t going to accept that fact. Stupid fibro…
I have to tell myself…’it’s just today’ to get through the day sometimes and then I wake up in the morning begging not to hurt when I get up…but begging does no good most days. I recall only a few days that this has worked! ha! Even though I very very rarely go a day without some sort of ridiculous pain, I do love and cherish those days when I wake up and feel pretty ok. At least it gets a good start to the day…then around 1 or 2 I crash..but that’s ok..I got a few hours of good in!
I want to go volunteer somewhere, my Mother is so good at this and makes me want to do it, but I’m afraid to have to ‘call in’ to a volunteer position…I mean what good is a volunteer that can’t show up? I absolutely love the elderly..their stories, etc. I had the best times of my life sitting with my Grandfather listening to his stories..crazy, made up or not…I know he appreciated my time spent with him as much as I enjoyed it and if I could do that for others, I think I would feel better about myself and at the same time give someone else some enjoyment. Another thing I’ve been arguing with myself for over the last year. I suppose I should just go talk to them and see if it’s something I can do on my good days.
Anyway…I’m done rambling for the day. I hope you all are having good days and if not…I hope it gets better and tomorrow is a new, pain less day!