Just when you think you may have gotten a hold on this Fibro crap…you have a major set back and it simply makes you want to cry. That’s where I am today. You’d think after 2 1/2 years of this crap I’d be used to it but everytime I have a bad week or two I wonder how those people who have dealt with this hell for 10 years and more do it! Honestly…I read their blogs or forums and just cringe to think I have a whole lifetime of this left. Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself today apparently. It happens!
I can push myself through the week of pain from head to toe – literally- every month when that wonderful ‘gift’ comes along and usually I can do it with a smile on my face even. But when the pain continues far after the gift is gone for the month, then I tend to get depressed and mad and sad over life.
I slipped on my ‘all natural’ eating last week while in Colorado but I resumed it Sunday, now it’s Wednesday and I’m in so much pain that I’m considering taking a Percocet. I reserve them, not only because I only have a few left and no health insurance, but also because they only work for an hour or two and then I get the nausea…sometimes I think it’s worth it to be pain free, if even only for a few hours. I have Oxy and Roxy left too but I can just plan on laying around feeling ‘funny’ if I take those.
I ‘worked out’ the last 2 days..but certainly not to the extent that would cause this type of pain. I expect my legs to hurt from walking and biking, or my arms from rowing the kayak…this is different. This is deep, intense, every inch of my body pain. Not the same and SO much worse. I was laying in my super soft, pillow top bed, how could I possibly have pain? Fibro sucks.
So now…do I do my daily yoga and help it goes away or at least helps? Or do I lay here all day wishing it to go away, hoping tomorrow will be better? There’s no handbook for this, there’s no one that can tell you what you should do. It’s so different for every single person.
I just rubbed my eye and my eyelid hurts. Seriously? It’s gonna be a long day I see….