Monthly Archives: October 2010

today’s gonna be a good day

It’s Friday and that’s always a good start! A weekend with my wonderful wife, our first ‘dinner party’ since we moved to Cali…Home made burritos smothered in my ‘famous’ green chili! I’m so excited! I did 2 hours of yoga and some good, deep trigger point therapy yesterday in hopes to get through this long day…so far so good! Haven’t woken up with such a low pain level in a long time..which of course makes me a HAPPY CAMPER! I do love my yoga and the pressure points I’m learning about have been so cool! I’m requesting a book outlining them all for Christmas! Now if I can only get some more tennis balls…ha!

I definitely could’ve used some more sleep…the Melatonin seems to not be working so great this week. Haven’t done anything different so I’m hoping that getting back into the daily yoga helps with my sleep pattern..miraculously I have no bags under the eyes…after 4 nights of 4 hours of sleep each. UGH A little B-12 and I should be good to make it through the day! May even reward myself with a beer or two this evening! I’m down another pound and a half and that makes me super duper happy too!

Today’s gonna be a good day! I hope it is for all of you as well!


good thing she’s cute…..

So somehow we are down to our last tennis ball…where, oh where do those suckers disappear to? We have no yard so she isn’t burying them, our house is only 750sq ft so there’s not many places to hide the little stinkers, but they sure do vanish! I’m having some hip/hamstring issues so I went digging through Butchy’s toybox to find a tennis ball to roll around on my feet and on my hamstring…ONE lone tennis ball at the bottom of the toybox.

I’m sitting in front of the tv, minding my own business just watching tv feeling some much needed relief from some deep leg issues and my feet feel amazing….oh the simple things in life!  The whole time I’m being eyed like a hawk by the adorable little mutt laying at my feet.  She had a new bone and was perfectly content before I found the ball…she didn’t even know it was in there!  Low and behold the little booger swipes it out from under my foot, runs in the bedroom like she found the best treasure in the whole entire world…meanwhile I’m calling after her to bring the ball back to Mommy. I’m pretty sure she was in the bedroom with her ball snickering at me….”Ha ha I got your ball and I’m not gonna give it back” she didn’t even want that ball…she just went and hid it from me…ornery I tell ya! Just like a 3 year old kid, she’s 13 and in dog years that OLD she shouldn’t be playing mean tricks on her Mommy who really needs that ball!

I have searched everywhere for that ball, I even went so far as to get on my hands and knees to look from her level and let me tell you, that was no easy task! I cannot locate the very last tennis ball that my dog has hidden from me. Pathetic! hahaha! I guess I’ll head to the store tomorrow to replenish the toy box and so that she can have 2 balls to keep her busy while I use my one!

it’s a good thing she’s cute….. 🙂


Food is the key…for me

So the wife was sick last week and of course passed it on to me on Sunday…no biggie, I’m used to laying around anyway added chest congestion and headaches aren’t fun but it’s just another thing…

I made home made chicken noodle soup last week for her the first day she was sick, which I almost always do when someone is ill, I made wheat noodles this time since I’ve been on this ‘good food makes me feel better’ thing. I did ok with a couple of bowls last week, but then it seemed that when I got sick we ate too much non-healthy food (my wife doesn’t really cook) and now I feel like crap again, fibro crap…not head cold crap.

I was pretty darn sure that food was the answer to pain relief for me, but this definitely reiterates that fact! Not to mention the INSANE stomach issues…I went stomach issue free for almost a month when eating almost all raw, now for the last 2 nights I haven’t slept hardly at all and I was in serious pain from my stomach 3 hours out of the night the last 2 nights.  Back to natural I go….

I’m not becoming a vegan or vegetarian and I doubt I ever will…but I am definitely cutting out as much sugar as humanly possible and all white flour. I had pizza and have mercy did I pay for it! I think even the wheat flour is playing tricks with my stomach and possibly contributing to the pain of the FMS.

I never blogged too much about the food, because honestly I thought it could all be in my head! I do that alot…think things  are all in my head…I think we all do. Pretty soon you really do start to wonder if you’re looney or not!  Of course all of the dieticians and Dr’s and Nurses and well…everyone tells you “you need to exercise and eat right” well NO DUH! Don’t we ALL need to do that? But if it were simply that easy then America wouldn’t be obese. It’s not..its hard. But I’m finding it alot easier when I discover that it really could be the reason that I hurt so much less.

I’ve never been a health nut, however I do go through phases of doing everything naturally….cold remedies, face masks, hair masks, etc….I do that because I don’t see the point in spending money on expensive products when you can make them with the ingredients from the dollar store.  I don’t want to become one of those people that goes somewhere and says “Oh, I can’t eat that” I don’t like those people. (Unless there is a health reason, of course) but no matter where you go, there is almost always a salad on the menu. No, it’s not nearly as fun or tasty for that matter, but when you think…”If I eat this pizza or hamburger or enchilada, I’m gonna hurt tomorrow” it makes it easier to just eat the salad, or grilled chicken-providing it’s not marinated in sugar or something.

So I guess it’s back to almost all natural for me! If you haven’t tried it…I highly suggest it…even for a week. See if it helps with any of your issues. Dairy and white flour and sugar are my new enemies. Bummer, the best things that go in our mouths are made of those things. With a little research though I’ve found some really good recipes and I don’t mind cooking..when I feel good! I guess it’s kind of a win, win!

With my veggies, I set them all out after grocery shopping and cut them up right then and put them in tupperware. It’s easier to grab when you are in a hurry or don’t feel good. I make my own hummus out of garbanzo beans and I can flavor it any way I want. It’s great as a dip for veggies or on top of my salad. The hardest part for me is dessert. I LOVE DESSERT!!! Chocolate mostly….anything and everything chocolate. So that’s my goal this week, is to find dessert recipes that are healthier for me, that won’t make me hurt. If you have any…please share! If you’re interested in any of the recipes I’ve found for other things let me know, I’ll post them. Crock pot chicken is my new favorite recipe! Its super easy and you have chicken for the rest of the week to put in salads, etc.

Anything for less pain!


Strange tender points/phantom pain

I often find ‘strange’ tender points (not the regular ones they use to diagnose FMS) and definitely have phantom pains in different places on different days for various lengths of time. I always wonder if other people do to.

Eyebrows – I tend to ‘straighten’ mine alot and sometimes I find that they hurt quite significantly. Just my finger lightly going over my eyebrow can be quite painful! I haven’t seen this one in the books yet, have you?

Finger tips – I remember driving home one day, after working in pain all day and noticed how very bad my finger tips hurt on the steering wheel. Some days I can’t even type lightly because of the pain it sends up through my arms, into my teeth.

Left hip – this pain I’ve been told by massage therapists is sciatica and was told to put ice on it, however I can’t handle ice so I haven’t ever tried it.  Heat didn’t seem to do anything however, neither did muscle rub. It’s definitely a pain from deep inside, not just muscle. It hurts so much worse when laying on that side or sitting too long. This just started a few months ago for me. Yoga has been a lifesaver for this. I just discovered that a few weeks ago. A-MAZING! I posted a link to the great free yoga introduction I found on youtube! Try it!

Ridged muscles – I’m not sure what else to call this. When I rub my fingers across the outside of my thigh (or other areas), I can feel ridges and they hurt! They aren’t nodules…it’s almost as though I can feel the muscle itself, but these ridges run the opposite direction of the muscle. Nothing makes this go away, so I simply don’t rub them very often. Massage doesn’t take it away and muscle cream doesn’t do anything. I just noticed this and haven’t asked a Dr. about it yet.  Wierd.

Ribs – Oh man do my ribs hurt sometimes, like a Mac truck hit me the night before and left me laying on the asphalt all night long. This pain is one way that I know my period is about to start. Massive Rib Pain..among many other pains, fog, swelling, etc. I can’t even were a bra when this flare happens, it hurts so bad! Nothing I have found makes this go away, moist heat sometimes helps…I just get to wait it out. Sometimes just a day…sometimes all week.

Right wrist pain…just at the top of my hand, directly at the wrist area. Feels like someone is digging their finger deeply into the muscle, causing a vibration to run up my arm and I can feel it in my teeth. My grip is dead and I will drop anything you put in my hand. It’s very hard to write when this happens, let alone cook!

Tooth aches & TMJ – I have very very bad, unexplained left side tooth pain, top and bottom. Been to many dentists who think I’m loony as there is no reason for the pain. Maybe they should just rip out all of my teeth and call it done. The TMJ is constant pain and popping of the jaw. Fun times!

Top of head tender points – don’t even know how I figured this one out..laying on the couch one day I think rubbing my throbbing noggin’ and noticed that certain areas made my eyes water. Yes, it hurts that bad! ugh

Right foot – I am currently experiencing what I can only figure out to be Planter faciitis in my foot. Good Lordy someone cut it off! It hurts so bad. 1st thing in the morning is worst..I can barely get to the bathroom without the assistance of a dresser or anything else close to lean on. I bought a wrap, helps somewhat when out walking around. But I can’t afford the ridiculous contraptions they have out there right now. No health insurance, no job.

Sharp shooters everywhere – those horrible, super deep, super quick and super painful ‘shooting’ pains that feels as if someone jabbed a knife in that spot, pulled it out and waits to do it again a few seconds later.  Man I hate those.

Ovulating pain – seriously? because it’s not enough that I get to spend a week every month in constant, deep pain…but now I have some crazy ovulation pains….there’s a constant low ‘nagging’ pain and then the little sharp shooters throughout the stomach/groin area. Oh the joys of being a woman!

Do you have ‘phantom pain’ as my old Dr called it?!


and the crying….geez

I’ve never been much of a crier….especially in front of someone. But damn this FMS makes it hard not to! Or maybe it’s my age…sometimes I can’t distinguish between the 2! I’m only 36….I often speak of myself as ‘old’ or ‘getting older’ though I know I am not, my body begs to differ!

I find myself crying for the dumbest reasons…no not a ‘bawling episode’ but the lip gets quivvery (yes I realize that’s not a word) and a tear or two will come to the eyes. It happens during tv shows, it happens when I read other peoples blogs and it happens when I hear a song on the radio! I’ve become my sister! hahaha! It used to be a joke in our family…don’t look at her, she will cry! Not especially funny, but oh so true!

I’ve taken the antidepressants because my Dr swore I was depressed, even though I told her time and time again that I was not! I laugh alot, I do enjoy the things I can do and I look forward to things that I want to do! I’ve never ever thought of taking my own life…more pills, yes…but my life NEVER! I think it’s the most selfish thing a person can do and luckily I’ve never had to deal with that feeling and I hope that I never do.

anyway…I digress…I often wonder if other fibromites deal with this emotional roller coaster for real no apparent reason. Yes of course I know different ‘times of the month’ will make this worse for women and of course I take that into consideration but my crying doesn’t care what time of month, day or hour it is. I will cry one minute and laugh the next. Never a dull moment in my life! ha!


creepy crawlers….no thanks…

So I’m not positive this is a FMS thing..however I do remember reading it in a book I got from the library once. The creepy crawlers…it feels like i have spiders walking over my skin..always in different places, different times. No, my hand or foot isn’t ‘asleep’ and it doesn’t hurt..it just feels like spiders crawling on me. I feel like a lunatic trying to explain this when I jump all of a sudden and start to ‘brush the spiders off’  and someone looks at me crazy! Then I itch the spot and OUCH that hurts. Why will I never learn that the harder I scratch, the more and longer it hurts?! Oh right…I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday most days! ha!

I’ve asked Dr’s about it but as usual..no one knows. Of course they are happy to say yes it’s part of the FMS because then it just doesn’t have to be dealt with. My allergist says it’s allergies, but I take a daily allergy medication. I’m sure there is nothing that can be done, I’ve googled it and came up with mostly nothing….so now i have to figure out how to train my brain to not freak out everytime it comes on quickly and intensely….and to STOP scratching it…I’m not sure which is worse-the creepy crawly feeling or the pain from the scratch that seems to last five minutes. Plus I’m sure people look at me funny when I get an ‘attack’ as it seems that the minute I scratch one area, five more pop up, I probably look like I’m on drugs!

I’ve found alot about myself in the short time I’ve been writing this blog…I don’t tell anyone most of these strange, complicated, usually odd symptoms I have. Maybe I don’t see the point in telling them. Maybe they’ll think I really have lost my mind. Maybe I’ve complained enough about other symptoms. Maybe it’s too much effort. Maybe it just doesn’t matter. I wonder how long one can go though, really, without some outlet to remove some of the things in the brain. So thanks for those of you that do stop by for letting me remove it from my brain! 🙂


Pain nodules

I’ve had massages for most of my adult life, much more so since the Fibro diagnosis and much less so now with no job. However I do know that they work significantly and so now I do it as much as I can myself between times of getting a professional one.

Our muscles get tight, without doing much, and form what I call nodules. I don’t know if this is the technical term, but it’s the Leana term! ha! I notice that when specific areas become painful there is almost always a bad little nodule to blame. Sometimes it’s the nodule itself that hurts, but more often you have to search around for the certain nodule that is causing the certain pain that you are trying to relieve at that very moment. Personally, I have way to many and never ever plan to get them all myself, I’ll leave that for the Pros! Besides, my hands hurt after just a few minutes!

I have lots of helpful ‘massage utensils’ that I like to use, which also help my hand from getting tired quickly and hurting as much. My tens unit is great! I like to use it to relax a tough area before I go in with my tennis ball or my 4 legged spider. The tens unit I bought on ebay for like $10…its super simple and only has a few settings. I’d like to graduate on to a bigger, more powerful one but for now it works just fine! The 4 legged spider is a round wooden ball with dowels and balls on the end of them. I love this thing, it’s almost always within my arms reach. The tennis ball..well, it’s just a ball I stole from our dog. Sometimes she doesn’t approve of my using it and puts in back in her toy box, but when she’s not looking I sit on it, roll my hip on it, or put it on my back while laying on the floor, this is a pretty deep massage sometimes when I really need it. Of course, the muscle cream works occasionally, depending on the pain and how it got there, I prefer the NON smelly kind so I don’t smell like an old lady who ate too many candy canes! 🙂 But the cream doesn’t always work. I wish I could have a masseuse on stand by just for me…awwe that would be so amazing! OK back to reality….

Sometimes it’s hard to inflict that type of pain on yourself, cuz let me tell ya…they HURT! Then you have to chase them around cuz they try to hide just a few centimeters from where you started..or they move..i don’t know. I usually just push through it by breathing very deeply and reminding myself that it’ll feel better after the initial 20 minutes of insane pain…..and it does.  Just worked one out of my wrist that was causing me not to be able to grip very well. Probably from typing, writing, pretty much everything I do all day long! ha!

Anyway…if you aren’t trying to get rid of those nodules, you’re only letting them add up so get to work! Get yourself a little 4 legged spider or borrow the dog’s ball while he/she isn’t looking! And when you get an extra few bucks, go get a professional massage! I recently found a really cool place for $25/hr and  you don’t even get naked for this massage! I’ll post a link, maybe there’s one near you! If not…find a massage school, yes they are still learning but that almost makes it better for you to get what you want..they are eager to please and learn! Sometimes you can find deals on craigslist or in your local coupon book. It’s so worth the effort to look!